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The Group Chat - When Staying Silent Makes You Part of the Problem


Kojo's phone buzzed three times before he had even finished his jollof.

"Kojo, no phones at the table," said Mum.

"Sorry, Mum." He turned it face down, but he was already curious. Nobody ever messaged him this much.

After dinner, he hurried to his room and checked. He had been added to a new WhatsApp group: Class 6 Legends 😎.

Kojo grinned. Everyone in his class had been talking about this group for weeks, and now he was in it.

He scrolled up. There were jokes about football, a funny video of a goat on a school bus, and lots of laughing emojis. Kojo sent a thumbs up. It felt good to belong.

Then another message popped up. It was from Nii.

It was a photo of Selasi from their class, taken during assembly that morning. Selasi had been reading the Bible passage when his voice suddenly cracked. It went high and squeaky right in the middle of a word. A few children had giggled, and Selasi's ears had turned red.

Now someone had turned the photo into a sticker. Selasi's mouth was wide open, and underneath, in big yellow letters, it said: SQUEAKY SELASI 🐭.

😂😂😂, wrote Dede.

LOL he sounds like a mouse, wrote Kwesi.

Somebody sent a mouse sticker. Then another. Then a voice note of someone making squeaking noises.

The messages came faster and faster. Buzz. Buzz. Buzz.

Kojo stopped smiling.

He scrolled down the list of group members, and his stomach dropped. Selasi was in the group. He could see everything.

Kojo stared at the screen. He thought about Selasi, who always lent people his rubber when they forgot theirs. Selasi, who had helped Kojo find his lost PE bag last term. Selasi, who was probably sitting somewhere right now, reading every single one of these messages.

Buzz. Another laughing face.

Kojo felt hot and uncomfortable. It's just a joke, he told himself. Everyone's laughing. If I say something, they'll think I'm boring. They might even remove me from the group.

He thought about his choices.

He could stay quiet. Nobody would notice. He hadn't posted anything mean, after all.

He could leave the group. Then he wouldn't have to see it.

Or he could say something.

That last choice made his heart thump. He put the phone down and walked into the sitting room, where his big sister Akosua was doing her homework.

"Akosua," he said slowly, "if you see someone being teased, but you're not the one teasing them, is it still wrong to just... watch?"

Akosua looked up. "Is this about a group chat?"

Kojo's eyes widened. "How did you know?"

"Because it's always about a group chat." She put down her pen. "Show me."

Kojo showed her. Akosua scrolled in silence, then shook her head.

"You know what I think?" she said. "When people laugh at something unkind, it's like adding wood to a fire. When people say nothing, the fire keeps burning. But when even one person says stop, it's like pouring on water."

"But what if they laugh at me instead?"

"They might," Akosua admitted. "Being brave doesn't mean you're not scared. It means you do the right thing anyway. And you don't have to be rude. Just be kind and clear."

Kojo went back to his room, sat on his bed and took a deep breath.

First, he opened a private chat with Selasi.

Hey Selasi. I saw the group. I'm really sorry. Your reading was actually good. Everyone's voice cracks sometimes. Are you okay?

For a long moment, nothing happened. Then three little dots appeared.

Not really. I don't want to go to school tomorrow.

Kojo's chest felt tight. You don't deserve this. I'm going to say something.

Then he opened the class group. The mouse stickers were still coming. His fingers shook a little as he typed.

Guys, I don't think this is funny anymore. Selasi is in this group and he can see all of this. How would you feel if it was you? Can we please stop and delete the sticker?

He pressed send before he could change his mind.

The chat went quiet.

One minute passed. Two. Kojo's heart was pounding so loudly he was sure Mum could hear it from the kitchen.

Then, buzz. It was from Ama.

Kojo's right. My voice cracked in the Christmas play last year and I cried for two days. Let's stop.

Buzz.

Yeah, sorry Selasi, wrote Dede. I didn't think.

Then, buzz, a message from Nii.

It was only a joke 🙄

Kojo swallowed hard and typed back.

A joke is only funny if everyone is laughing. Selasi isn't.

Nothing came from Nii for a while. Then the sticker disappeared, and a small grey line appeared in its place: This message was deleted.

Kojo let out a long breath he didn't know he had been holding.

The next morning, Kojo told Mr Owusu, their class teacher, what had happened. He wasn't trying to get anyone into trouble. He just knew that some problems are too big for children to fix on their own. Mr Owusu thanked him and said he would talk to the class about being kind online.

At break time, Selasi walked over to Kojo holding two meat pies.

"Mum packed an extra one," he said, holding one out. "Thanks for yesterday."

Kojo smiled and took it. "Anytime."

As they sat together under the mango tree, Kojo realised something. Being added to the group chat had felt good. But standing up for a friend felt even better.


Talk About It

  1. How do you think Selasi felt when he saw the sticker in the group?
  2. Kojo had three choices: stay quiet, leave the group, or speak up. What might have happened with each one?
  3. Why was it important that Kojo messaged Selasi privately as well as speaking up in the group?
  4. Why do you think Kojo told Mr Owusu, even after the sticker was deleted?
  5. What is one kind thing you could say if you ever see someone being teased online?

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