Growing up means facing situations that nobody can completely prepare you for.
Sometimes your friends may leave you out. You might make a mistake and be frightened to admit it. Someone may ask you to keep a secret that makes you uncomfortable. You might fail an exam, lose something you borrowed, receive a strange message online, or find yourself being pressured to do something you know is wrong.
When these things happen, it is easy to panic, stay quiet, follow everyone else, or make a decision you later regret.
That is why knowing what to do before the situation happens is so important.
Welcome to Sue's Imaginarium's “What Do I Do If…?” guide—practical answers to some of the situations children and teenagers may face at school, at home, with friends and online.
1. What do I do if my friends leave me out?
Being excluded hurts, especially when the people leaving you out are people you consider your friends.
Before assuming the worst, find out what happened. Sometimes there may be an explanation you don't know about.
You could calmly say:
“I noticed I wasn't included. Did something happen?”
Listen to their answer.
But if your friends repeatedly exclude you, deliberately embarrass you, or make you beg to be included, think about whether the friendship is healthy.
Remember: Friendship should not require you to constantly prove that you deserve a place.
2. What do I do if someone asks me to keep an uncomfortable secret?
Not every secret is bad.
Someone planning Mum's surprise birthday party might say, “Don't tell Mum!” That's very different from an adult or another child saying:
“Don't tell your parents about what happened.”
If a secret makes you frightened, confused, uncomfortable or worried about someone's safety, you are allowed to tell a trusted adult.
Even if you promised not to tell.
Even if the person says you'll get them into trouble.
Even if they tell you nobody will believe you.
Your safety is more important than keeping an unsafe secret.
3. What do I do if I lose my parents in a crowded place?
First, don't keep wandering around trying to find them. You could accidentally move farther away.
Stop and look for a safe person who works there—a shop employee, security officer, police officer, information-desk worker or another clearly identifiable member of staff.
Tell them:
“I can't find my parent. Can you help me?”
If you have a phone and know your parent's number, call them.
Children should also learn their parent's full name and at least one trusted adult's phone number.
4. What do I do if I accidentally break something expensive?
Your first thought might be:
Hide it!
But hiding the evidence usually turns one mistake into two problems: breaking something and lying about it.
Tell the truth.
Try:
“I accidentally broke this. I'm really sorry. I should have been more careful.”
You may still face consequences. Taking responsibility doesn't guarantee that nobody will be upset.
But honesty shows maturity.
5. What do I do if I fail an exam?
A bad result can be disappointing, but a mark tells you how you performed on that particular assessment. It doesn't determine your worth or everything you're capable of learning.
Instead of only asking, “Why did I fail?”, investigate:
What didn't I understand?
Look through your mistakes. Ask your teacher for help. Change how you revise if your current method isn't working. Practise the areas you find difficult.
Then try again.
Failure becomes much more useful when you learn something from it.
6. What do I do if I am being bullied?
You do not have to deal with repeated bullying alone.
Tell a trusted adult such as a parent, teacher, school safeguarding lead or another adult responsible for your welfare.
Explain exactly what has been happening.
If bullying happens online, don't delete the evidence immediately. Save messages or screenshots where appropriate and show them to a trusted adult.
And if the first person you tell doesn't help, tell someone else.
Getting help is not weakness or “snitching.” It is asking someone responsible to help stop harmful behaviour.
7. What do I do if I see somebody else being bullied?
You don't need to start a fight with the bully to help.
If it is safe, you might stand beside the person being targeted, invite them to come with you or tell an adult what is happening.
Sometimes something as simple as:
“Come and sit with us.”
can make a huge difference.
If someone could be seriously hurt, get adult help immediately rather than putting yourself in danger.
8. What do I do if a stranger messages me online?
Someone's profile picture does not prove who they are.
Do not give a stranger your address, school, phone number, passwords, location or other private information.
Be especially cautious if someone asks you to move conversations somewhere secret, send photographs, hide your conversations from your parents, or meet them in person.
Stop responding, save evidence if necessary, block/report the account, and tell a trusted adult.
You never owe an online stranger a reply.
9. What do I do if someone shares my photograph without permission?
Tell them clearly that you want it removed.
You can say:
“I didn't give permission for you to post that photograph. Please take it down.”
If they refuse, tell a trusted adult and use the platform's reporting tools where appropriate.
And remember this when you're posting pictures of other people too.
Ask first.
10. What do I do if my friend tells me something worrying?
Being a good friend doesn't mean carrying every problem alone.
If your friend tells you something that suggests they or someone else may be unsafe, seriously harmed or in danger, get help from a trusted adult.
Your friend might say:
“I told you not to tell anyone!”
You can still care about them while getting help.
Sometimes being a good friend means refusing to keep a dangerous secret.
11. What do I do if I don't understand what my teacher taught?
Ask.
There is nothing embarrassing about not understanding something the first time.
You can say:
“Could you explain that again, please? I don't understand this part.”
If you don't feel comfortable asking during the lesson, speak to the teacher afterwards.
You can also review your notes, use trusted learning resources or practise with someone who understands the topic.
Questions are part of learning.
12. What do I do if I feel jealous of my friend?
Jealousy doesn't automatically make you a bad friend.
It is a feeling—and feelings can tell us something.
Perhaps your friend achieved something you wanted. Maybe they have something you wish you had. Perhaps you're frightened that someone else is replacing you.
Instead of treating your friend badly, ask yourself:
“What is this feeling trying to tell me?”
You can be happy for someone else while still wanting something for yourself.
Turn comparison into a goal rather than resentment.
13. What do I do if I don't have what everyone else has?
There will nearly always be someone with a newer phone, more expensive shoes, a bigger bedroom, more holidays, more followers or something else you don't have.
Trying to keep up can become exhausting.
Ask yourself:
Do I actually want this—or do I want it because everyone else has it?
There is no shame in your family saying, “We can't afford that,” or simply, “We're not buying that.”
Your possessions are not your identity.
14. What do I do if I borrow something and lose it?
Tell the owner as soon as you realise what has happened.
Don't wait for them to ask.
Say:
“I'm sorry. I borrowed your ___ and I've lost it. I've looked for it, but I haven't found it.”
Then talk about how you can put things right.
When someone trusts you with their belongings, taking responsibility matters.
15. What do I do if I spend all my pocket money?
First: don't panic.
You've just discovered one of the reasons budgeting matters.
Look at what you spent your money on. Separate the things you needed from the things you simply wanted at the moment.
Next time, divide your money before spending it.
For example:
Save some. Spend some. Keep some for later.
Learning how to make small money decisions now can prepare you for much bigger ones later.
16. What do I do if I disagree with an adult?
Adults can be wrong. Children can also misunderstand situations.
Disagreement doesn't have to become disrespect.
Instead of shouting:
“You're wrong!”
try:
“I understand what you're saying, but can I explain why I see it differently?”
Listen to their explanation too.
Being respectful doesn't mean you aren't allowed to have an opinion.
And if an adult is asking you to do something unsafe or inappropriate, seek help from another trusted adult.
17. What do I do if I don't want to hug somebody?
You can be polite without giving someone physical affection you don't want to give.
You might say:
“I'd rather not hug, thank you.”
You could wave, smile, give a high-five or simply say hello instead.
Children should learn to respect other people's boundaries—and know that their own reasonable physical boundaries matter too.
18. What do I do if my friends dare me to do something?
Before accepting a dare, ask yourself:
Could someone get hurt?
Could I get into serious trouble?
Would I do this if nobody were watching?
Am I only doing it because I'm afraid they'll laugh at me?
If the answer makes you uncomfortable, walk away.
You don't have to prove your bravery by making a dangerous or foolish decision.
Try:
“No. I'm not doing that.”
You don't need a ten-minute explanation.
Sometimes NO is the complete answer.
One Skill Connects All 18 Situations
These situations may seem completely different, but they have something important in common:
Stop. Think. Decide.
When something unexpected happens, don't allow embarrassment, fear, excitement or pressure from other people to make the decision for you.
Ask yourself:
Is this safe? Is this right? What could happen next? Do I need help from someone I trust?
Children will not always have an adult standing beside them when difficult decisions appear.
Our job isn't simply to tell them what to do.
It is to help them develop the judgement, confidence and practical skills to make safer, wiser decisions when we aren't there.
A question for children
Which of these situations would you find the hardest to handle—and what would you do?
A question for parents and educators
Choose one scenario rather than all 18. Ask your child what they would do before giving them the answer.
Their response might teach you something important about how they think.
© Sue's Imaginarium | Practical life skills for growing minds
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